Running Scared...

I've come to realize today

that college is right around the corner

And i will admit it

i'm fucking scared.

I dont know if i will be able to handle it

I dont really have what it takes

I mean, i just spent an entire day

Bullshitting up a 4 page paper

Thats how unfocused i am

My grades are shit

I dont turn shit in

I sleep during classes

(this is why, its almost 2 am)

and i really dont think i can handle it

So, As if it wasnt enough i couldnt cut it achademically

I couldnt make it emotionally

Not if i wasnt there with one of my closer friends

(its slim, she is going to end up at a good college,

She has the potential for great things)

But like, could i handle it?

Do you really think i could?

When have i ever handled change well?

I dont think there has ever been a time

And i'm a total wreck about life in general.

Meh. In other news...

It didnt go so well.

I went what, a week?

Without likeing bright eyes?

His relationship thing fell through.

[i dont know why you try,

not like he'll come back to you]

I just wish he didnt get his heart stomped on so much

Him and Chris

Because i love them both

As brothers

As Friends.

This internalization shit?

It sucks.