Behind blue eyes...

I feel sick. Real sick. Pure sickness. I feel like i'm going to throw up. I think i will; I'm getting fatter. I've done nothing but eat this weekend... Ugh. I have a date with some ice later too i think...

I'm talking to my ex right now, trying to sort out my mind. I dont usually break down and try and get help when i can... but i think i need it. Will you look at that? I'm admiting i need help...

Its terrible. My beautiful friend dates bright eyes (or pretty much). I was so hoping i'd have a chance... i guess i'm really nothing compaired to her. I was impressed though, he didnt leave right when she left; he stayed to talk to me. Not long, my mother kicked him out. But enough.

I guess hes nice. A breath of fresh air. I almost see myself with him but i dont see him with me. He's too much of a good thing anyways. I guess this is happening for a reason. Its not supposed to be. Nothing is supposed to be i guess...

My grades are going to be frightening. I havent finished my shop final and i got a 28/54 on the multiple choice section of my AP Lit final. So... This sucks. I'll die if i fail. Thats my shot at college... That one class... Or rather, its a boost up to college...

Estoymuerta,
Behind blue eyes...