My friend had her baby; A beautiful 8 pound 3 ounce 21 inch healthy baby boy. I had a horriffic dream that it was a still birth and intended on hanging out with her today. Then i got a call and headed to the hospital...
She looked so happy. Even his dad looked happy despite him being a douchebag and not caring almost the entire pregnancy... I guess knowing its real changes people. Something about a tangeable body changed him...
I got to hold him for a while. I was so happy i almost cried. It made me think about what it would have been like had my best friend had hers... I cant stop thinking about it; especially after the terribly ironic message i got from her saying her friends sister was so cute she wished she had a baby... I almost died. Actually, i think i did die a little inside.
I talked to my ex today. Innocent at first; casual talk among friends who jump from word to word. Some how i made him think i had lost my virginity and he freaked out. He started questioning it as i wasnt really clear (i said mint tingle condoms were nasty tasting. I've tasted one out of pure curiosity...) and i kept asking, "Why would it matter?"
I find it funny how its perfectly fine if he wants to go out and fuck whatever or whoever he wants but its pretty much a mortal sin for me to even think about it. I dont care when he shares details of his sex life with me but i leave the slightest stone unturned but angled so he gets confused and he freaks out.
He kept saying he hoped it would be special and that he admired me for staying chaste. I laughed. He further said he would kill any guy who had "issues with my abstinance" and i laughed somemore, explaining it was more of the girls who gave me trouble. He said they were Jealous... I continue to laugh.
What can i say, the boy is just like me... He wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. i doubt he still loves me, i think its just that he'd hate to hear the 6 months he suffered was all a waste and someone else got to me first.
I just find all the irony and jealousy hilarious...
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